She Knows
by CaptainRaz
Summary: The Doctor is upset after Reinette's death.  Good job he's got Rose then.  Pointless Fluff.  Probably AU.  [[Repost]] Written during the 2006 series.


Authors Notes; Please read and review, not sure that I've captured Rose and the Doctor was well as I have elsewhere. Please let me know what you think.

Disclaimer; if I owned Doctor Who, then it would be ME running around holding his hand okay?

The Doctor was simply stood, staring at the central column of the TARDIS. Reinette's letter was still in his hand, her words still burning into his mind and into his hearts. Guilt seared like pain through his body; guilt that he had left yet another person's life in tatters, that there was one more promise that he had broken. And to top it all off he had a horrible feeling that at some point during the rollercoaster of a day they had just had, he had broken more than just one heart; he just couldn't quite work out whose heart he had actually broken. He heard a noise behind him and knew that Rose had come back to check on him again.

"I said I was fine!" he said, far too irritably for it to be true.

"No you're not." Said Rose casually, leaning on the railing in the Console Room.

The Doctor seethed; Rose knew him too well, not that he was being particularly subtle about his feelings right now.

"What happened then? You never once told us what went on when you were in France."

The Doctor took a deep breath; it still hurt like hell, but then he suppose he owed Rose an explanation for why he left her for five and a half hours

"She fell in love with you didn't she; her hero, dashing in and out of fireplaces and mirrors?" the Doctor sighed, as only 900 year old Time Lords who have seen the destruction of their planet can.

"Yes, she fell in love with me." The Doctor's voice was sad, and Rose could tell that he was hurting.

"Did you love her?"

"I don't know. I know that I let her down; I promised her I would be back in a minute and I never saw her again. She died before I could get back to her; she died still waiting for me. I broke her heart."

This last revelation seemed to bring a change to the Doctor, and it wasn't a good one; a darkness settled on him, and to Rose it seemed like something inside of him had broken. Rose was about to give him a reassuring hug when he spoke again,

"We connected Rose, she saw inside my mind and she shouldn't have been able to. She saw everything about me; she understood…"

"Understood what?"

"How lonely I am."

Rose should have been quite insulted at that, and at one point she might have been. Now everything simply clicked into place. Rose knew that Reinette had looked into the Doctor's mind, had seen everything she shouldn't have. Some part of the Doctor had loved Reinette because the people who truly knew him knew his heart and mind were few and far between. The Doctor just hadn't realised the simple truth; that Rose understood just as perfectly as Reinette had. This time Rose didn't hesitate when she wrapped her arms around him, and he melted into her embrace.

"You fool. You've been looking for someone who truly understands how lonely you are, and you thought you'd found that person in Reinette. That's why you went back to her; you'd finally found a companion who truly understands. You didn't realise one fundamental thing; I know too, I've seen everything."

"How…?"

"I was the Bad Wolf remember? I have seen everything... all that is... all that was... all that ever could be."

"I thought you couldn't remember that."

"I relive it every night in my dreams, each night processing a new part of what happened…"

"Why didn't you tell me…?"

"…I've seen your past, all of it. I've watched Gallifrey burn and I know that you struck the match. But that's okay because I have also seen how much you hurt because of that, how guilty you feel."

The Doctor was crying now, his head buried in Rose's shoulder. How could he have been so blind? To have missed this wonderful woman who had always been there, who had given her life for him and who understood him so implicitly? How was it possible that he thought Reinette was the only one who had seen his pain scorched soul? He had thought it possible that he had broken Rose's heart when he crashed through that mirror, but instead he had broken his own. Rose was still strong, strong for him, and comforting. He choked back his tears, not because he was ashamed of weeping on Rose, but because he felt that his tears were unnecessary, and the Doctor was not one to do things that are unnecessary.

"Answer me one thing, though," asked Rose, still holding the Doctor in her arms. "Why did you think that Reinette was the only person who could have seen?"

"Because I'm blind," he replied slowly "I can see all of Time and Space mapped out before me, infinite possibilities in the blink of an eye. And all that really means is that I'm blind to what's truly in front of me. Oh Rose, I'm so sorry."

"For what?"

Rose asks the question cheekily, and it finally breaks the Doctor's dour mood. He grabs her around the waist and picks her up, swinging her around as laughter finally escapes him.

"For not realising you're the most wonderful, fantastic, brilliant person I have EVER met!"

The Doctor pressed the briefest of chaste kisses to her lips before he put her down and was off, running around the console room like a little boy, flicking switches at random. Rose smiled at the sight of him; all she had ever wanted was to be able to make him smile, and now she had that power. Nothing else really mattered, not when she had just pulled him back out of the depths of despair and put that fantastic grin back on his face. Rose briefly brought her fingers to her lips, remembering the kiss he had put there; she would cheer him up a lot more often if that was the thanks she got. Rose pulled herself back to the present; the Doctor was shouting something, and it was aimed at her.

"Rose, go fetch Mickey, we're off on an adventure!"

Rose grinned; this was more like the Doctor.

"Fantastic!"


End file.
